How do you relieve stress?!
Sometimes the problem is not that you didn’t read the instructions.
Sometimes the problem is that there is no manual. Life doesn’t come with a manual.
We are moving fast, or we are moving slow and suddenly from left field we take a hit.
The truth is that we do not have to bang our heads against the wall at every turn. There are keys to staying aligned when things go a little sideways.
Are you in the middle of chaos, or in the middle of a war?
Are you on the defensive or the offensive?
Too many people telling you what to do?
Perhaps, you are you on the top of the world and you just need to apply some new strategies to gain momentum.
No matter where you start from, one things is for sure, there is not a “one size fits all” self help model. People always have an opinion on what we should do, but where we stand in the moment has everything to do with how we should move forward.
Where to start? The previous posts have been about a process to identify “your work”. We are all great at taking on other people’s “stuff” to distract us from our own. The mission here is to identify your “stuff”. Then, lovingly, we move forward into a position of strength and peace. Now, it is time to take charge and apply the first tool.
Tool One: “Let’s P L A Y”
1) Permission: Give yourself permission to go down the road. I am going to do this. I do not have to worry about what other people say or do. Say to yourself, “I AM going to do this in my timeframe, my way”. Forget for a moment about what others would do. Start down the road gaining your strength and taking charge of your life. Give yourself permission to allow the process to work.
2) Lay it out: Write down all of the “stuff” in your life that you would like to change. Make a list of that which is causing you to fall out of alignment. Don’t judge it. Just list it. Take the emotion out of it.
3) Assessment: Take an honest look at each item from two perspectives:
- Things I must change.
- Things I should change.
**There is a huge difference. Everyone knows the items they are banging their heads over. Only you can decide if you are at a point to tackle the big elephant or if you want to just start small to gain some momentum.
4) YES! Say yes to the item(s) selected. This is where tools come in. We are not talking about allowing anything to talk you out of it. We are not talking about someone else telling you what you have to do. We ARE talking about you deciding to own the decision and moving forward in peace with the decision that this will happen regardless of roadblocks.
You need to check in for a minute here. Number 4 is the HARDEST step. Whatever you choose in step four must have a definitive, absolute YES. Number four will not work with a maybe. Number four will not work with, “I tried to do that and it never worked.” Choose something that you are in alignment with and you are committed to achieving no matter what obstacle is thrown at you.
No worries though, I will be posting tools to help you overcome some of these obstacles. Tools that will allow you to stay aligned when life throws you a curve ball. Tools that will allow you to blow through the wall vs. banging your head against it.
Tool Two: Components of True Transformation
Remember: “You are at the helm.”
Karen C. Love